I'll call you DEAD! FACTORING DEAD, MARIA!

Recently (and recently is a zetta long time when you're as lazy as me), I saw on my serious radio that In This Moment covered a factoring blondie song! Factor you, Maria Brinks and whatever your guitarist is named! Aren't you male? How could you do that to your dignity! So I came up with a zetta awesome revenge plan: I'm going to review In This Moment's debut album and say all sorts of mean things about it! This will be so zetta fun!

A lot of people think that metalcore is much wussier than normal metal, and all I can think about is how someone can be such a brain-dead hectopascal. They've clearly never heard any Silent Civilian songs or downloaded a God Forbid album in their life, and they must think System of a Down doesn't exist. They must only listen to metalcore bands like HORSE the Band, Atreyu, Drowning Pool, and, of course, In This Moment! Yeah, that's right! I could you wussies, you who would dare to cover, of all things, factoring cover, a factoring Blondie song! Named Call Me! How do you sleep at night?

I've also got some issues with the lyrics. If you read them without hearing the song, you'd think, "Why the factor is Sho complainging?" and that's because they are goo- I MEAN you're taste in lyrics sucks, any band that would cover a Blondie song must have terrible lyrics everywhere! Definetely. No doubt about it. But, in context, the emphasis is put on all the wrong parts. Let's take the chorus of the best song on the album: Daddy's Falling Angel.

In my dreams last night I saw your face
You held me and washed away my tears
Then I woke to realize you're gone
I'm drowning in solitude again

What's wrong with these lyrics? Well, let me re-write them so it looks more liek what you'd hear in the song..

In my dreams last night I saw your face
You held meeeeeeeeeeeee (YOU HELD ME!) and washed away my tears...
Then I woke to realize you're goneeee (REALIZE!)
I'm drowninggggggggggg in solitoode again

And that's that. Zetta fail. Just repeat the line you held me 100 times and you'll see why I take issue with the lyrics.

And then there's the singing. The melodic singing's good, erm, for a band that covers Blondie, but the screaming, it sucks, really. I adjusted a little after listening to the album a few times, but it still feels like a waste to not have Maria Brinks doing her melodic singing. And, uh, this album sucks, cause uh, erm...

Okay, okay, okay, I'll get to the praise. Any album that can put pop and metalcore in the same song and still have smooth transitions multiple times deserve at least a little praise for getting in more variety than Rise Against does, what with Swing Life Away and State of the Union being on the same album. As far as vocalists go, when she's not screaming, Maria is one of the better ones. Their guitar playing isn't perfect, and their drumming is quite lacking when compared to bands like Silent Civilian, but they've got a unique sound for a metalcore band, and, wussies they may be, the relaxing melodic parts are a nice change of pace from even bands like Drowning Pool. If you're into metalcore and like trying new things, buy Beautiful Tragedy, but otherwise, don't. It's not the best album ever, but it's a good album, even if it is by a band that covered Blondie. No, I won't shut up about that, don't bother asking.