In one of his reviews, Yahtzee said that he thought the thief games were the only games that had implemented stealth elements properly. "Stop being so zetta hard on yourself!" I say in response, for Trilby: Art of Theft does a zetta great job with stealth elements. Although it could just be the shame of having included a timed button-pressing sequence in his game, but the stealth elements worked anyways, so why complain?
Art of Theft's gameplay revolves around the three different levels of lighting. In no light, nothing can see you. In low light, you can hide against walls to avoid being seen. In high light, you've screwed if anything's looking your way. Getting caught means an alarm will be set off, and you can only trip so many alarms before Trilby's high standards force you to retreat. It works zetta well as far as timing-based gameplay goes. You'll also be required to use your brain a bit; pure timing won't get you anywhere.
A few minigames are tied in as you engage in various activities. The minigames for picking locks on alarms and doors work quite well. They'll seem pointless at first, but later you'll have to do them when a guard might turn around and see you at any second. However, the wire cutting minigame feels zetta cheap. You pick a wire, and it might work, or it might set off an alarm. It's really more of a way to get you to decide if you want to risk setting off that alarm or not, but I still would've liked something skill based. Oddly enough, which wire works never changes, so someone with a good memory could easily get past them all just by repeating levels.
A skill system is also present, but it really shouldn't be. In short, the skill balance is completely broken. Beating the game feels more like it's about knowing which skills are overpowered than actual skill. You still can't get through the game just by randomly pressing buttons but having the overpowered skills, but it annoys me that how I spent my reputaion points were a bigger factor than my actual skill.
Another small complaint was your grolly. To change levels, you have to use your grolly (grappling hook in an umbrella) to go upwards. However, whenever you use the grolly, the game treats you as in high lighting. The grolly animation, quite unofrtunately, takes long enough to set off an alarm. It gets extra annoying whent he grolly spot isn't in pure darkness, meaning you probably don't have time to wait for the camera to look away.
However, what really brings this game together is its difficulty. The close calls you have to go through really put you on edge, whether that means narrowly avoiding a security camera's gaze or picking the lock on a door just as a guard turns around. Again, this makes me wonder why Yahtzee's such an opponent of difficult games. True, just being difficult by throwing tons of enemies at the player can be stupid, but this kind of difficult is good.
Considering it's free, Art of Theft is a great way to spend your time. It's not the best game you'll ever play, but don't just write Art of Theft off as a failed attempt at a stealth game.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Two reviews in one post of one game
I realized I hadn't done a video game review in quite a long time (this was before I decided to play Yahtzee's masterpieces), so I went on to kongregate.com and played the first game that seemed seem like conformists digits that got high ratings because factoring conformists rated them. The game I decided on was a satisfying puzzle solver by the name of Two Rooms.
As the name implies, the selling point of Two Rooms is that there are two rooms you have to work with, each of which has a different player character that you switch between via space bar. Many objects in the environment play on that feature, and that's where the puzzle solving comes in. It's actually more interesting than it sounds like, mainly because the developers did a zetta great job of utilizing this "innovation".
However, Two Rooms does have quite a bit of flaws. It often feels like guess and check is a better way to solve puzzles than by thinking, mainly because many of the puzzles are too complex for their own good. Others require you to wait for unnecessarily long amounts of time, which can be frustrating when you're solving puzzles with the above guess and check. It's not like you'll beat some of the puzzles without ever using your brain, but I feel that more could be done.
I also get the feeling that if the game were longer than half an hour, I wouldn't have finished it out of boredom. Yeah, yeah, the devs made it short so it wouldn't wear out its welcome. Well, that won't stop me from feeling like it's a result of poor design. I mean, come on, half an hour's not short, even for someone like me who has ADHD, when you consider that half the game is tutorials.
If you want to play a free flash puzzle game, go play through the Shift series. But, to be honest, you could do worse than Two Rooms. If you're that into puzzle games (which I'm not), or even if you're not, Two Rooms is worth the half hour it'll take to play. Despite it's flaws, I'm still ready to play a sequel to Two Rooms.
As the name implies, the selling point of Two Rooms is that there are two rooms you have to work with, each of which has a different player character that you switch between via space bar. Many objects in the environment play on that feature, and that's where the puzzle solving comes in. It's actually more interesting than it sounds like, mainly because the developers did a zetta great job of utilizing this "innovation".
However, Two Rooms does have quite a bit of flaws. It often feels like guess and check is a better way to solve puzzles than by thinking, mainly because many of the puzzles are too complex for their own good. Others require you to wait for unnecessarily long amounts of time, which can be frustrating when you're solving puzzles with the above guess and check. It's not like you'll beat some of the puzzles without ever using your brain, but I feel that more could be done.
I also get the feeling that if the game were longer than half an hour, I wouldn't have finished it out of boredom. Yeah, yeah, the devs made it short so it wouldn't wear out its welcome. Well, that won't stop me from feeling like it's a result of poor design. I mean, come on, half an hour's not short, even for someone like me who has ADHD, when you consider that half the game is tutorials.
If you want to play a free flash puzzle game, go play through the Shift series. But, to be honest, you could do worse than Two Rooms. If you're that into puzzle games (which I'm not), or even if you're not, Two Rooms is worth the half hour it'll take to play. Despite it's flaws, I'm still ready to play a sequel to Two Rooms.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
I need to rent more time...
I don't know how I missed it, but in my Resistance Two review I completely forgot about the AI! I've died a few times because an enemy meleed me to death after walking past my allies, who were busy shooting targets behind cover. Which is somewhat tolerable, but whent hey walk past enemies to be able to shoot enemies behind cover without negating their cover, I just must point out the zetta fail involved.
Oh yeah, I was going to do a Rent review. A week ago.
So yeah. I just got to composer rank in TWEWY, and now I don't know what to do. Keep upping my rank, yeah, but all I really have left is item farming to I can buy those zetta expensive items at the shibuya department store and gathering a few missed pins, most notably the one you get for beating Hanekoma on expert, which I'll need to keep downing food to do since I can't beat him on hard and I'm level 100.
Um, yeah, Rent. Rent Rent Rent. Rent.
Absolute crap! It zetta sucks!
That's what I want to say, anyways. But I believe in honesty, so yeah, I guess I'l give you an actual review. This is gonna be SO FACTORING PAINFUL!
Raam had already seen Rent and advised me not to, but I told Raam the logic behind me seeing Rent. Slipknot has a cult-like following, professional reviewers think TWEWY will become a cult classic when they discontinue the DS, and System Shock Two has a cult following, and even if I didn't play System Shock Two, I played Bioshock, and they're the same thing, as Raam tells me. Now, to sum it up, Rent has a cult following. Given my attraction to stuff with cult followings, I couldn't not like Rent. Right? Right? Right?
*Sigh* Rent's supposed to be about living for the moment, and if my like of TWEWY hasn't tipped you off, I'm already sold in that area, so I'd naturally go easy on Rent in that category. But I had to be told by people with a better knowledge of both the time and place that Rent was reffering to how Rent's supposed to convince me on living for the moment, and I still didn't find it to be a very strong argument.
"Someone died. Don't you want to live for the moment?"
"No."
"The person died of AIDS. Now do you want to live for the moment?"
"No. I'm a virgin."
"But someone you care about could have AIDS."
"Have you met my friends?"
"Uh... well... Look! These people aren't living for the moment, and they're SAD!"
"First: Duh. Second off, why didn't you point that out during the play?"
"Um..."
Furthermore, I didn't care about the dead character because 95% of everything is done in song. How am I supposed to care about the characters through SONG? But rest assured, the writing convinced me that I would have cared about the characters if the play had had actual dialogue. Sigh. Zetta Sigh.
And then there's the other message. Love. It's a terrible message. "But you like TWEWY!" a retarded two-year-old says. Which is about friendship, not love. The sad thing is, Rent seems to be providing the proper counter argument against love as a message to all your problems. I loved you. Then you died. Now I can't enjoy the moment. Lord Budda concurs.
Rent butchered one of my principles and then tried to back it up with a principle I'm against, so why don't I hate it. Because, somehow, through the music and lyrics, Rent managed to draw me in. I absolutely hated what I was being drawn into, and despite my belief that one's art represents themselves, it didn't make me feel like living for the moment, but it still drew me in. Themn I remembered that the acting was astounding, so it might not have been Rent's fault that it did a good job.
Overall? It zetta- NO! I'm done with this rating thing! Yahtzee's right, giving scores to express your feelings, even if replaced by words, simply doesn't work. I really should have stopped with Fargo, but I'm stopping here instead. In short, don't see Rent unless you still think love can solve all the world's problems. Like terrorism. We'll shoot them with candy hearts. That will appease people both for and against using violence to combat terrorism!
Oh yeah, I was going to do a Rent review. A week ago.
So yeah. I just got to composer rank in TWEWY, and now I don't know what to do. Keep upping my rank, yeah, but all I really have left is item farming to I can buy those zetta expensive items at the shibuya department store and gathering a few missed pins, most notably the one you get for beating Hanekoma on expert, which I'll need to keep downing food to do since I can't beat him on hard and I'm level 100.
Um, yeah, Rent. Rent Rent Rent. Rent.
Absolute crap! It zetta sucks!
That's what I want to say, anyways. But I believe in honesty, so yeah, I guess I'l give you an actual review. This is gonna be SO FACTORING PAINFUL!
Raam had already seen Rent and advised me not to, but I told Raam the logic behind me seeing Rent. Slipknot has a cult-like following, professional reviewers think TWEWY will become a cult classic when they discontinue the DS, and System Shock Two has a cult following, and even if I didn't play System Shock Two, I played Bioshock, and they're the same thing, as Raam tells me. Now, to sum it up, Rent has a cult following. Given my attraction to stuff with cult followings, I couldn't not like Rent. Right? Right? Right?
*Sigh* Rent's supposed to be about living for the moment, and if my like of TWEWY hasn't tipped you off, I'm already sold in that area, so I'd naturally go easy on Rent in that category. But I had to be told by people with a better knowledge of both the time and place that Rent was reffering to how Rent's supposed to convince me on living for the moment, and I still didn't find it to be a very strong argument.
"Someone died. Don't you want to live for the moment?"
"No."
"The person died of AIDS. Now do you want to live for the moment?"
"No. I'm a virgin."
"But someone you care about could have AIDS."
"Have you met my friends?"
"Uh... well... Look! These people aren't living for the moment, and they're SAD!"
"First: Duh. Second off, why didn't you point that out during the play?"
"Um..."
Furthermore, I didn't care about the dead character because 95% of everything is done in song. How am I supposed to care about the characters through SONG? But rest assured, the writing convinced me that I would have cared about the characters if the play had had actual dialogue. Sigh. Zetta Sigh.
And then there's the other message. Love. It's a terrible message. "But you like TWEWY!" a retarded two-year-old says. Which is about friendship, not love. The sad thing is, Rent seems to be providing the proper counter argument against love as a message to all your problems. I loved you. Then you died. Now I can't enjoy the moment. Lord Budda concurs.
Rent butchered one of my principles and then tried to back it up with a principle I'm against, so why don't I hate it. Because, somehow, through the music and lyrics, Rent managed to draw me in. I absolutely hated what I was being drawn into, and despite my belief that one's art represents themselves, it didn't make me feel like living for the moment, but it still drew me in. Themn I remembered that the acting was astounding, so it might not have been Rent's fault that it did a good job.
Overall? It zetta- NO! I'm done with this rating thing! Yahtzee's right, giving scores to express your feelings, even if replaced by words, simply doesn't work. I really should have stopped with Fargo, but I'm stopping here instead. In short, don't see Rent unless you still think love can solve all the world's problems. Like terrorism. We'll shoot them with candy hearts. That will appease people both for and against using violence to combat terrorism!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
five days of awesomeness
Oh, dear gods, I can't resist the temptation. I'm going to review stuff in a drastically different order than the order I saw/played such review items in. But worry not, for I shall review the zetta awesomeness that is 5 Days a Stranger.
Because 5 Days a Stanger was made by Ben Yahtzee Croshaw, one of the more superior human beings on this Earth and also the creator of Art of Theft, which I will review soon since I played it before 5 Days a Stranger, I had already convinced myself that this would be a good game. However, the works of Yahtzee I had previously seen leaned more toward humor than horror, so that was a small concern of mine. I, at the very least, knew that Trilby was a surprisingly zetta compelling character from playing Art of Theft. This remains true in 5 Days a Stranger, despite Trilby being taken out of his area of expertise (theft). The supporting characters aren't too shabby, either. You'll have a different attitude toward each of them, which gives any developer extra points in my book.
While humor is not absent from the game (try looking at the doors a bunch of times. Pure comedic genius), the focus is on horror. And boy, does Yahtzee do a good job. Normally, I turn the lights off when I'm working on the computer. I have an illuminated screen; I'll save the energy. But nope. Not now. I'm not as shaken as when I saw Disturbia, but hey, it's still pretty zetta scary.
The puzzles themselves can be a bit frustrating ast times, even with the walkthrough from Yahtzee himself. However, they do seem to make sense once you know the solution. But, as Yahtzee said in his own review of The Adventures of Zakk and Wiki... Well, they weren't horrible puzzles, and the ones I could solve were fun on their own, but I still think they could have been fleshed out better.
The commentary and intervew are worth the five dollars (although five dollars isn't much anyways), so you definitely shouldn't pass them up. Although I'm willing to donate five dollars to Yahtzee anyways, but what the hey.
Overall? Well, as you'll see in my Rent review (meant for yesterday, I felt rather lazy, though), I'm done with this whole score thing. But, just for nostalgia's sake, Buy this game! Incompletes will be destroyed! It is so zetta factoring awesome you really just need to see it for yourself. God, I'm definitely going to have to play Yahtzee's other horror games now.
Because 5 Days a Stanger was made by Ben Yahtzee Croshaw, one of the more superior human beings on this Earth and also the creator of Art of Theft, which I will review soon since I played it before 5 Days a Stranger, I had already convinced myself that this would be a good game. However, the works of Yahtzee I had previously seen leaned more toward humor than horror, so that was a small concern of mine. I, at the very least, knew that Trilby was a surprisingly zetta compelling character from playing Art of Theft. This remains true in 5 Days a Stranger, despite Trilby being taken out of his area of expertise (theft). The supporting characters aren't too shabby, either. You'll have a different attitude toward each of them, which gives any developer extra points in my book.
While humor is not absent from the game (try looking at the doors a bunch of times. Pure comedic genius), the focus is on horror. And boy, does Yahtzee do a good job. Normally, I turn the lights off when I'm working on the computer. I have an illuminated screen; I'll save the energy. But nope. Not now. I'm not as shaken as when I saw Disturbia, but hey, it's still pretty zetta scary.
The puzzles themselves can be a bit frustrating ast times, even with the walkthrough from Yahtzee himself. However, they do seem to make sense once you know the solution. But, as Yahtzee said in his own review of The Adventures of Zakk and Wiki... Well, they weren't horrible puzzles, and the ones I could solve were fun on their own, but I still think they could have been fleshed out better.
The commentary and intervew are worth the five dollars (although five dollars isn't much anyways), so you definitely shouldn't pass them up. Although I'm willing to donate five dollars to Yahtzee anyways, but what the hey.
Overall? Well, as you'll see in my Rent review (meant for yesterday, I felt rather lazy, though), I'm done with this whole score thing. But, just for nostalgia's sake, Buy this game! Incompletes will be destroyed! It is so zetta factoring awesome you really just need to see it for yourself. God, I'm definitely going to have to play Yahtzee's other horror games now.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
These scripts writers don't have far to go
At Raam's behest, I have recently seen the movie Fargo by the Coen brothers. Now, when I see a movie on Friday the 13th that includes a midget being shoved into a wood chipper, I assume it'll just be a zetta senseless gore fest that I will find to be zetta uninteresting. Thank goodness superstition isn't always true!*
Someone reading In Cold Blood may decide that the death penalty is wrong because Dick and Perry definitely didn't deserve it, but someone seeing the somewhat nonfictional movie Fargo would argue that one case is definitely not a good way to judge whether or not the death penalty is justified. The genius writing/directing of Fargo actually makes you wonder what the point was every time someone dies. If you pay attention to the brief monologue near the end, that was the intent of the Coen brothers. You'll definetely be afraid of the duo of villains as they go on their rampage. The writing is also some of the most unique I have ever seen in the movie; I can definitely tell why Raam likes such a movie, but even those with tastes seperate from Raam's may still find it enjoyable.
The acting also holds up its end of the job. It's not just an actor or two that does a zetta good job, pretty much everyone matches their character perfectly. It adds to the already zetta stellar writing for quite a satisfying view.
The storyline is actually somewhat dull compared to the writing. It's not that it's bad, but considering how good the writing is, you'd think it would be better. It's basically just a kidnapping plot that goes awry, resulting in 2/3 of everyone dying. Sure, those deaths actually seem to mean something, but because of the writing and not because of the storyline.
Overall? It's zetta good. As I said above, there's a specific kind of person who will enjoy this movie much more than everyone else, but don't let that discourage you. Fargo is definitely worth watching, unless you're really, really, squeamish, in which case you probably shouldn't watch this gore-filled movie.
*I once broke my arm on Friday the 13th, giving me paranoa on every future Friday the 13th.
Someone reading In Cold Blood may decide that the death penalty is wrong because Dick and Perry definitely didn't deserve it, but someone seeing the somewhat nonfictional movie Fargo would argue that one case is definitely not a good way to judge whether or not the death penalty is justified. The genius writing/directing of Fargo actually makes you wonder what the point was every time someone dies. If you pay attention to the brief monologue near the end, that was the intent of the Coen brothers. You'll definetely be afraid of the duo of villains as they go on their rampage. The writing is also some of the most unique I have ever seen in the movie; I can definitely tell why Raam likes such a movie, but even those with tastes seperate from Raam's may still find it enjoyable.
The acting also holds up its end of the job. It's not just an actor or two that does a zetta good job, pretty much everyone matches their character perfectly. It adds to the already zetta stellar writing for quite a satisfying view.
The storyline is actually somewhat dull compared to the writing. It's not that it's bad, but considering how good the writing is, you'd think it would be better. It's basically just a kidnapping plot that goes awry, resulting in 2/3 of everyone dying. Sure, those deaths actually seem to mean something, but because of the writing and not because of the storyline.
Overall? It's zetta good. As I said above, there's a specific kind of person who will enjoy this movie much more than everyone else, but don't let that discourage you. Fargo is definitely worth watching, unless you're really, really, squeamish, in which case you probably shouldn't watch this gore-filled movie.
*I once broke my arm on Friday the 13th, giving me paranoa on every future Friday the 13th.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
my grammy could have picked better awards
Either that, or they call them the grammy nominations because grammies vote for the bands their grandchildren like. Jonas, Brothers, Miley Weird Last Name, Justin Timberlake, Coldplay... They all won. Metallica? Rise Against? Slipknot? None of them, although the odds were against them since 1/3 of them didn't get nominated. Well, Metallica got best recording package. Which is a fancy way of saying album cover. So Metallica didn't actually get an award for their music, thus I will not count it. I really should've just done what I said I'd do and not look. Well, Spineshank's coming out with a new album this year and they've been nominated before, so All Hope is not Gone, contrary to what Corey Taylor tells me. By the way, that album should've had to compete with Appeal to Reason for best album. But it didn't. 'Cause apparently, the Jonas Brothers are better. FACTOR YOU ALL, YOU TASTELESS TETRAHEDRA! This must be what Slipknot uses to influence their sound. They look at the grammy awards, then QUICK! To the studio!
Monday, February 9, 2009
I'm a vegetarian, but what the hey
Three levels. If I recall correctly, that's better than you can do on Contra 4. On easy. We'll ignore the other Contras, just so you can feel less wrong. But anyways, now I shall do a classic review. Of...
Unicorn Steak, by Die Mannequin.
Don't ask for the album cover, it's the zetta worst part of the album. By far. 'Cause it's the only zetta bad part of the album. Which is saying something.
A brief history of Die Mannequin: First, they released How to Kill on iTunes and stores, and it shall forever remain the zetta best EP ever because most bands don't release EPs these days what with iTunes making the download of singles easier and all. Then, they released Slaughter Daughter, but not iTunes just to spite me because I'm a lazy hectopascal who doesn't want to drive to Borders, but I checked anyways and no store in existence has Slaughter Daughter. To apolagize for this lack of foresight, Die Mannequin released Unicorn Steak, which combined the two EPs and added in two new singles. The result? Zetta factoring awesomeness, I tell you, zetta factoring awesomeness.
Die mannequin has a drummer, but you honestly can't tell. But am I complaining? No, you dumb hectopascals! It's an emo album. What kind of emo album has a drummer that's being loud and obnoxious? A crappy one. And besides, the singing and guitaring are both zetta superb! Care Failue's definitely the zetta best female singer I have ever heard mostly because I listen to metal and all the zetta good metal bands have male lead singers, not to mention most of the female singers zetta suck anyways. The bass playing is surprisingly zetta good. I'm not used to zetta good bass players being in bands, although Raam's bass playing has lowered my standards.
The lyrics are also a highpoint of the album (for those of you keeping score, the highpoints are the lyrics and the music). They appeal to me, because, unlike zetta crappy emo bands, they aren't talking about backpacks being best friends. I'm looking at you, The Used. And they just naturally appeal to me. Not the best lyrics I have ever heard on an album, but I like them.
Overall? BUY THIS ALBUM! INCOMPLETES WILL BE DESTROYED! MOST ZETTA AWESOME EMO ALBUM EVER! Do you like emo? Of course you don't because then you wouldn't bother reading this review, you'd just download the album. Do you not like emo? Download this album anyways. You're missing out if you don't.
P.S. The music video of Saved by Strangers is quite interesting if you're ever bored on youTube.
Unicorn Steak, by Die Mannequin.
Don't ask for the album cover, it's the zetta worst part of the album. By far. 'Cause it's the only zetta bad part of the album. Which is saying something.
A brief history of Die Mannequin: First, they released How to Kill on iTunes and stores, and it shall forever remain the zetta best EP ever because most bands don't release EPs these days what with iTunes making the download of singles easier and all. Then, they released Slaughter Daughter, but not iTunes just to spite me because I'm a lazy hectopascal who doesn't want to drive to Borders, but I checked anyways and no store in existence has Slaughter Daughter. To apolagize for this lack of foresight, Die Mannequin released Unicorn Steak, which combined the two EPs and added in two new singles. The result? Zetta factoring awesomeness, I tell you, zetta factoring awesomeness.
Die mannequin has a drummer, but you honestly can't tell. But am I complaining? No, you dumb hectopascals! It's an emo album. What kind of emo album has a drummer that's being loud and obnoxious? A crappy one. And besides, the singing and guitaring are both zetta superb! Care Failue's definitely the zetta best female singer I have ever heard mostly because I listen to metal and all the zetta good metal bands have male lead singers, not to mention most of the female singers zetta suck anyways. The bass playing is surprisingly zetta good. I'm not used to zetta good bass players being in bands, although Raam's bass playing has lowered my standards.
The lyrics are also a highpoint of the album (for those of you keeping score, the highpoints are the lyrics and the music). They appeal to me, because, unlike zetta crappy emo bands, they aren't talking about backpacks being best friends. I'm looking at you, The Used. And they just naturally appeal to me. Not the best lyrics I have ever heard on an album, but I like them.
Overall? BUY THIS ALBUM! INCOMPLETES WILL BE DESTROYED! MOST ZETTA AWESOME EMO ALBUM EVER! Do you like emo? Of course you don't because then you wouldn't bother reading this review, you'd just download the album. Do you not like emo? Download this album anyways. You're missing out if you don't.
P.S. The music video of Saved by Strangers is quite interesting if you're ever bored on youTube.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
MEGA MAN 9 REVIEW
Well if its not obvious by now, i LUV classic games. one of them being one of the most generically named game hero of the 80s, MEGA MAN. now there is always going to be a place in my dried up shrivle of a heart for MEGA MAN, and that's mainly due to it fantastical music (that's a real word). seriusely the music is amazing. and semi-alt. techno bands are still making remakes of every level from the game. (see the advantage, powerglove,entertainment system, dr. wiley and the robot masters). so with that said, its REVIEW TIME!!!!!! THIS WEEK ITS.....
and i do apologize for the horrendous box art, but its still a hell of a lot better than the first one.
so what can be said about MEGA MAN 9? well it has the same great art style as the first 8 (not counting 6,7,8) and its all in glorious 8-bit. and best of all you can now hear the wonderful music in surrond sound (yaaaaaaay!!). if i had one complaint it would be the story. it just flat out fails or f.o.f. but its totally excused because i cannot recall a MEGA MAN game with a completely mindblowing story. now in the past my favorite MEGA MAN game was 3, but 9 swiftly takes that place by having great bosses and fun stages. a new adition is getting power ups in between levels, its not much but like a fresh water drenched puppies, it feels refreshing (i am very tired).
one other thing is, it is one of the hardest games iv ever played. contra 4, ikaruga, battletoads......pussies! all of them compared to MEGA MAN 9. its so hard, paris hilton would sleep with it. so if you can beat it, find me and i will give you cake*. if you complete one of the achievements and beat it without getting hit, find me and i will burn you alive because you are most obviously a witch. iv been playing it since this morning and iv only beaten 3 levels. so sho if you think contra is hard? play MEGA MAN 9. and be prepared to cry yourself to sleep.
so all in all, its nice to see a game go back to its 8-bit roots and MEGA MAN 9 earns a spot on my favorite xbla games (next to castle crashers and braid) definitely check it out, or at least play the demo.
so i give it 9 robot masters out of 10
and thy judgment is: if your an old school gamer who's not afraid of a challenge, a must buy. if your a modern day pansie who needs tutorials and regenerating health, go back under the table and leave this one to the pros.
so till next time readers.
oh! i also forgot i found a great way to get bolts (currency). beat diamond man, get his power (a force shield) go to plug mans stage and stand under the enemy spawn point. it took me 3o minutes to get 500 bolts but you can use those bolts to buy much needed extra lives.
tata for now.
*the cake is a lie!
grammy abominominations
ANGER! WRATH! FURY! FACTOR IT ALL!
THE JONAS BROTHERS GOT A GRAMMY NOMINATION!
Which isn't why I'm angry. Well, that news is enough to infuriate me, but not this level of anger.
MIA GOT A GRAMMY NOMINATION FACTORING MIA!
Seriously, what has happened to the world? I can understand why those bands are popular, seeing as 90% of people can relate to the Jonas Brothers and MIA (cough cough they're conformists). But only GOOD bands should get grammy nominations. Music is art, and art is an expression of one's self, so a conformist should never, ever, get a grammy nomination. Shame on y'all!
In other news, Coldplay and Metallica got nominated for EVERYTHING! I suppose Metallica deserved one or two nominations, but it seems a bit excessive for them to get nominated for factoring EVERYTHING! This just in: Coldplay didn't deserve any nominations. Same reason as the Jonas Brothers and MIA.
The only somewhat good news is that Slipknot got nominated for best live performance (Psychosocial). "So what's new?" anyone who new Slipknot's history of grammy nominations would ask. Nothing. But I still think Rise Against's Re-education Through Labor should be on there.
Not much else to say. I'm definitely not gonna pay any further attention the the grammys, except maybe to see if Slipknot wins, in which case I will observe via wikipedia. Now go out and buy a good album from a good band. All you pop lovers stop listening to all these bad bands I have mentioned and buy a Paramore cd. Stop wasting your money on mind control devices.
THE JONAS BROTHERS GOT A GRAMMY NOMINATION!
Which isn't why I'm angry. Well, that news is enough to infuriate me, but not this level of anger.
MIA GOT A GRAMMY NOMINATION FACTORING MIA!
Seriously, what has happened to the world? I can understand why those bands are popular, seeing as 90% of people can relate to the Jonas Brothers and MIA (cough cough they're conformists). But only GOOD bands should get grammy nominations. Music is art, and art is an expression of one's self, so a conformist should never, ever, get a grammy nomination. Shame on y'all!
In other news, Coldplay and Metallica got nominated for EVERYTHING! I suppose Metallica deserved one or two nominations, but it seems a bit excessive for them to get nominated for factoring EVERYTHING! This just in: Coldplay didn't deserve any nominations. Same reason as the Jonas Brothers and MIA.
The only somewhat good news is that Slipknot got nominated for best live performance (Psychosocial). "So what's new?" anyone who new Slipknot's history of grammy nominations would ask. Nothing. But I still think Rise Against's Re-education Through Labor should be on there.
Not much else to say. I'm definitely not gonna pay any further attention the the grammys, except maybe to see if Slipknot wins, in which case I will observe via wikipedia. Now go out and buy a good album from a good band. All you pop lovers stop listening to all these bad bands I have mentioned and buy a Paramore cd. Stop wasting your money on mind control devices.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Correction
Raam, their is something seriously wrong with your list. How come no wii games are on there? I mean, seriously, what the factor? You can't make a list directed towards hardcore gamers without at least one wii game. Zetta fail!
THAT WAS A JOKE! HA HA! FAT CHANCE!
-GLaDOS, Portal/Still Alive, Valve/Jonathan Colton
So yeah, unless the virtual console interests you or you've already got a current gen system, don't buy the wii. With the exception of said virtual console, it has zetta crappy third party games, but the Nintendo games are worth getting if you've already got a ps3. Just thought I'd let you know.
Now, for a rather brief album review...
Sehnsucht, by Rammstein. You can't get it on iTunes, go to Borders you lazy hectopascal. It's a very generic album, so generic that I can't say much about it, except that the lyrics (if you ever look them up online in English) are slightly more humorous than Rammstein's other albums and that this particular album isn't Rammstein's best work by far. But it does have that overrated Du Hast song that all the conformists think is better than Mein Teil. I really can't see why Du Hast has gotten so much recognition, but perhaps someday I'll know. And I won't be satisfied. 'Cause the answer will be stupid.
Variety is a definite weak point for the album. A lot of the songs sound pretty much the same, although some do manage to distinguish themselves. If you do get this album, turn compilations off and shuffle on.
I give a zetta okay for not being as good as Mutter, which in turn means it's not as good as Rosenrot. Rammstein fans are missing out if they pass up this album, but those of us who aren't as interested in industrial metal should look elsewhere.
THAT WAS A JOKE! HA HA! FAT CHANCE!
-GLaDOS, Portal/Still Alive, Valve/Jonathan Colton
So yeah, unless the virtual console interests you or you've already got a current gen system, don't buy the wii. With the exception of said virtual console, it has zetta crappy third party games, but the Nintendo games are worth getting if you've already got a ps3. Just thought I'd let you know.
Now, for a rather brief album review...
Sehnsucht, by Rammstein. You can't get it on iTunes, go to Borders you lazy hectopascal. It's a very generic album, so generic that I can't say much about it, except that the lyrics (if you ever look them up online in English) are slightly more humorous than Rammstein's other albums and that this particular album isn't Rammstein's best work by far. But it does have that overrated Du Hast song that all the conformists think is better than Mein Teil. I really can't see why Du Hast has gotten so much recognition, but perhaps someday I'll know. And I won't be satisfied. 'Cause the answer will be stupid.
Variety is a definite weak point for the album. A lot of the songs sound pretty much the same, although some do manage to distinguish themselves. If you do get this album, turn compilations off and shuffle on.
I give a zetta okay for not being as good as Mutter, which in turn means it's not as good as Rosenrot. Rammstein fans are missing out if they pass up this album, but those of us who aren't as interested in industrial metal should look elsewhere.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
top 10 FPS of 2009
Holy crap, that was actually funny. anyway being the beginning of february and what not with a romantic holiday approaching i thought id do something romantic and un-expected. list my top 10 upcomming shooters of 09. so enlight of it being almost valentines day (a holiday made up by an arguably insane human), here are my picks for the top upcomming fps's of 2009...
8: deus ex 3 (pc)
7: rage (ps3)
6: duke nukem forever (yeah i know)(who give f***)
5: borderland (pc)
4: sabateur (360)
3: killzone 2 (ps3)
2: bioshock 2: sea of dreams (360)
1: chronicles of riddick:assault on dark athena (360)
10: half-life 2: episode 3 (pc).
9: wolfenstein (360)
8: deus ex 3 (pc)
for some honerable mentions i would like to thank f.e.a.r 2, and..... thats it. i really liked the first riddick game and if this continues the saga, count me in. ta ta for now. also i dont think appeal to reason is that bad.
Adam Gontier is the light, foo!
Yes, I do have better ears than you. I can tell you how zetta good a band is live before I see them. I could've told you that switchfoot isn't any zetta better live (well, maybe a little better) without ever seeing them live. Also, switchfoot's drummer doesn't do his solos on a sideways platform that is spinning. I'd definitely take a drummer who does his solos on a sideways platform that is spinning over the magnum. But not over a magic hand that shoots bees. Unless, of course, this drummer was secretly three people. Then I'd zetta take it.
But, in response to a zetta inflammatory comment you just made, I shall review...
A band whose lyrics are not preachy, but perhaps zetta subliminal since apparently I'm the only man on this Earth who can figure out what each song means by himself. Hint: Re-education Through Labor is called Re-education Through Labor. Now you don't actually have to listen to the song to figure out what its message is.
The main message of the lyrics of Rise Against songs goes something like, "Nihilism factors everything!" Seeing as nihilism is often associated with zetta despair, I don't see why anyone thinks they are preachy. Did you know that if you cut off all your limbs, you'll bleed to death? Do I sound preachy? The lyrics are actually quite intriguing if you don't convince yourself that all political bands are preachy ahead of time. You don't have to cut off your left arm. No one will hold it against you. Except for factoring hectopascals that no one likes. Now stop giving me me that digit about Rise Against being preachy. You want preachy? Go look up Silent Civilian lyrics.
As for the actual music, Rise Against does pretty good. If hardcore punk rock/emo/whatever they classify Rise Against as now is your thing, Appeal to Reason (and all the other Rise Against albums so far) is not something you want to pass by. Compared to their other albums, their variety on this one is poor. Which isn't saying much. Rise Against has always had a lot of variety, this album just doesn't show that as well as their others.
The singing is a definite weakpoint of the album. I've never been a fan of Tim Mcllrath's (now try to pronounce Mcllrath) singing, although, to be fair, he has improved ever so slightly on this album. Maybe punk rock singing just isn't my cup of tea, but I can certainly name some punk rock bands that have better vocalists. Mcllrath is trying, but he simply doesn't have the voice it takes for me to say he's a good singer.
Overall? It's zetta great! Buy it, unless you're not a Rise Against fan, in which case you should buy Siren Song of the Counter Culture. Also, Islam is the light. I assume that's why it's so hot in the middle east. So, you see, Bush was doing a good job of stopping global warming. He completely ignored science and went for common sense instead, allowing him to function at the level of a caveman.
But, in response to a zetta inflammatory comment you just made, I shall review...
A band whose lyrics are not preachy, but perhaps zetta subliminal since apparently I'm the only man on this Earth who can figure out what each song means by himself. Hint: Re-education Through Labor is called Re-education Through Labor. Now you don't actually have to listen to the song to figure out what its message is.
The main message of the lyrics of Rise Against songs goes something like, "Nihilism factors everything!" Seeing as nihilism is often associated with zetta despair, I don't see why anyone thinks they are preachy. Did you know that if you cut off all your limbs, you'll bleed to death? Do I sound preachy? The lyrics are actually quite intriguing if you don't convince yourself that all political bands are preachy ahead of time. You don't have to cut off your left arm. No one will hold it against you. Except for factoring hectopascals that no one likes. Now stop giving me me that digit about Rise Against being preachy. You want preachy? Go look up Silent Civilian lyrics.
As for the actual music, Rise Against does pretty good. If hardcore punk rock/emo/whatever they classify Rise Against as now is your thing, Appeal to Reason (and all the other Rise Against albums so far) is not something you want to pass by. Compared to their other albums, their variety on this one is poor. Which isn't saying much. Rise Against has always had a lot of variety, this album just doesn't show that as well as their others.
The singing is a definite weakpoint of the album. I've never been a fan of Tim Mcllrath's (now try to pronounce Mcllrath) singing, although, to be fair, he has improved ever so slightly on this album. Maybe punk rock singing just isn't my cup of tea, but I can certainly name some punk rock bands that have better vocalists. Mcllrath is trying, but he simply doesn't have the voice it takes for me to say he's a good singer.
Overall? It's zetta great! Buy it, unless you're not a Rise Against fan, in which case you should buy Siren Song of the Counter Culture. Also, Islam is the light. I assume that's why it's so hot in the middle east. So, you see, Bush was doing a good job of stopping global warming. He completely ignored science and went for common sense instead, allowing him to function at the level of a caveman.
Monday, February 2, 2009
DONT LOOK TO THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
first of all, i missed the rise agianst concert because i think they are too preachy and radicle (also i was grounded) and i AM sorry i missed this one, but....... i dont really care for slipknot(they are ok). also when i saw switchfoot live, i thought it was just as good as downloaded. maybe my ears are not as well trained as sho's. but i digress.
OMFG. funny news in video game media (2 things!!!!!). first, theres a gamestop near were i live that has been held up TWICE, once by two dudes in paintball masks (those paintball playing bastards) and again sunday night by 2 differnt guys. one fell through the roof of michells ice cream shop (sho's favorite) and the other was picked off by a sniper (not killed), and yes there were snipers and people with guns on top of the donatos across the street. also this week, we are so going to donatos. i f***ing hate that thin crust though. but enough about jake lloyd. and second....
well guess what one mother, an actual mother, heard. a quite disturbing message in one of her daughters game..... all it said was ISLAM IS THE LIGHT. and you will never belive what evil, satanic game this phrase was mutterd in. the pure evil that is....
OMFG. funny news in video game media (2 things!!!!!). first, theres a gamestop near were i live that has been held up TWICE, once by two dudes in paintball masks (those paintball playing bastards) and again sunday night by 2 differnt guys. one fell through the roof of michells ice cream shop (sho's favorite) and the other was picked off by a sniper (not killed), and yes there were snipers and people with guns on top of the donatos across the street. also this week, we are so going to donatos. i f***ing hate that thin crust though. but enough about jake lloyd. and second....
well guess what one mother, an actual mother, heard. a quite disturbing message in one of her daughters game..... all it said was ISLAM IS THE LIGHT. and you will never belive what evil, satanic game this phrase was mutterd in. the pure evil that is....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
sorry, dont look directly at it.or you will die. so turns out some right wing conservative hussie "heard" the game, baby pals, say ISLAM IS THE LIGHT, right after mario suicide bombed the mushroom kingdom, and master chief got arrested for smuggling ak-47s into indea.
BEST GAME IDEA EVAR! and now i forgot it. i dont care what the game is about, but i know one thing, I must buy it. either this week or next. i even looked up how to get your baby to say there first anti- samaritain word. it seems washing your baby makes it mutter the "evil" tribune. so go steal it from your little sister, if she has not blown up any buildings, and see for your self. a wierd fact is that the game is made by CRAVE. the same people who made the BIBLE GAME for the xbox/ps2. mixed messages maybe but all i know is someone is to blame. the mother. well thats all from me. check back later for a new review. and remember.....
ISLAM IS THE LIGHT......
PS: I DONT THINK ISLAM IS THE LIGHT. or even a word.
lololololololol noobs!
What I am reviewing now is not a game or an album or anything else you can put on a disc. I am going to review something more zetta awesome than that. I am going to review a place. A time. A metaphysical thing. For I shall review...
LIVE!!!!!!
And, while we're at it, I shall also review...
And, while we're at it, I shall also review...
LIVE!!!!!!
Let's not forget (or maybe we could, I dunno)...
LIVE......
I'll review them in the order they appeared onstage, simply because that makes things easier on my ADHD mind.
Trivium: This is the kind of quality I expect out of a recording, not a live concert. Although they're not too bad at the concert part, they just don't seem to get the whole music thing.
Coheed and Cambria: This is the kind of quality I expect from an album I wouldn't download. In other words, they zetta sucked and sound pretty much the same live as they do on their recordings. And, unless you're a factoring masochist who likes having strobe lights shined in his eyes, they aren't good at the concert part, either.
Probably about 1% of you are going: "Sho, what the factor more could you want than strobe lights flashing in your eyes? That is the digit!" What more do I want? I want their drummer to do solos while on a sideways platform that's spinning! That is the zetta factoring digit! The zetta factoring digit, I tell you! By some zetta bizarre coincidence, it's what Slipknot's lead drummer Joey Jordison does.
Slipknot started off pretty slow, but everyone (when I say "everyone", I also mean me because Slipknot fans are the on audience I can actually relate with in this world. It feels rather empowering) still cheered since they're better than Trivium and Coheed and Cambria combined. Then they played Before I Forget and everyone's just like, yayz! Zetta yayz! Afterwards, they stopped holding back with their on stage stuff, although they got progressively better with their performances as the show went on.
What I liked was when Corey Taylor dedicated a song to everyone who didn't come to the concert. Most bands dedicate songs to people who made the concert possible, sometimes even the audience itself, but how many bands dedicate songs to people who have absolutely nothing to do with the concert? And that song was probably their best song live! Do you know what song that is? That song was People = Shit! Here that, Raam? Corey Taylor thinks you're = to shit, but not me, and all because you didn't come to a concert I invited you to even though the last concert I invited you to and you didn't come to was zetta awesome! Now their's not a chance that I'm letting you wuss out of the Nonpoint concert.
As for the actual music, it was great. Slipknot's a live band, kind of like every band I listen to and not you. 'Cause you zetta fail. Yes, you, the zetta son of a digit reading this blog. Musically, they aren't as zetta good as Rise Against live, and, in terms of performance, they aren't as zetta good as Silent Civilian/Spineshank, but they're a good mix of the two, so I'm zetta happy.
What I didn't like was that they didn't play Gematria, The Nameless, Vermillion, or Pulse of the Maggots. But, y'know, if the worst part of a concert is what they didn't do and not what they did wrong, then I'm satisfied. It wasn't the best show I've ever been to, but I'm looking forward to seeing Slipknot in concert again.
Trivium: This is the kind of quality I expect out of a recording, not a live concert. Although they're not too bad at the concert part, they just don't seem to get the whole music thing.
Coheed and Cambria: This is the kind of quality I expect from an album I wouldn't download. In other words, they zetta sucked and sound pretty much the same live as they do on their recordings. And, unless you're a factoring masochist who likes having strobe lights shined in his eyes, they aren't good at the concert part, either.
Probably about 1% of you are going: "Sho, what the factor more could you want than strobe lights flashing in your eyes? That is the digit!" What more do I want? I want their drummer to do solos while on a sideways platform that's spinning! That is the zetta factoring digit! The zetta factoring digit, I tell you! By some zetta bizarre coincidence, it's what Slipknot's lead drummer Joey Jordison does.
Slipknot started off pretty slow, but everyone (when I say "everyone", I also mean me because Slipknot fans are the on audience I can actually relate with in this world. It feels rather empowering) still cheered since they're better than Trivium and Coheed and Cambria combined. Then they played Before I Forget and everyone's just like, yayz! Zetta yayz! Afterwards, they stopped holding back with their on stage stuff, although they got progressively better with their performances as the show went on.
What I liked was when Corey Taylor dedicated a song to everyone who didn't come to the concert. Most bands dedicate songs to people who made the concert possible, sometimes even the audience itself, but how many bands dedicate songs to people who have absolutely nothing to do with the concert? And that song was probably their best song live! Do you know what song that is? That song was People = Shit! Here that, Raam? Corey Taylor thinks you're = to shit, but not me, and all because you didn't come to a concert I invited you to even though the last concert I invited you to and you didn't come to was zetta awesome! Now their's not a chance that I'm letting you wuss out of the Nonpoint concert.
As for the actual music, it was great. Slipknot's a live band, kind of like every band I listen to and not you. 'Cause you zetta fail. Yes, you, the zetta son of a digit reading this blog. Musically, they aren't as zetta good as Rise Against live, and, in terms of performance, they aren't as zetta good as Silent Civilian/Spineshank, but they're a good mix of the two, so I'm zetta happy.
What I didn't like was that they didn't play Gematria, The Nameless, Vermillion, or Pulse of the Maggots. But, y'know, if the worst part of a concert is what they didn't do and not what they did wrong, then I'm satisfied. It wasn't the best show I've ever been to, but I'm looking forward to seeing Slipknot in concert again.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
ROFL PLEASE SEND NOODS
yeah i dont get it either, but according to urban dictionary NOODS means NOODLES. THOSE are the lyrics for YOU CANT SCARE ME. the new song by dr. acula for thier new cd entitled s.l.o.b. just letting you know. also if you were in to dr. acula you may also be interested in...
ZOMBIE DOG by SCAPEGOAT
YOU CANT SPELL SLAUGHTER WITH OUT LAUGHTER by I SET MY FRIENDS ON FIRE
R.BORLAX by HORSE THE BAND
all awsome screamo/metal bands with a healthy dose of awsomely ironic songs (horse the band made a whole song about the first boss in mega man). anyway just updateing, i may review afro samurai this week ( if gamefly comes through. god bless gamefly) and you should probably watch the anime its based on. the movie is pretty good too. so watch it and if i gets my GF this week i will review/butcher (if its bad) it. but from what iv heard its not to bad.
samuel L. jackson kicks ass. lakeview tarrace sucked though.
ZOMBIE DOG by SCAPEGOAT
YOU CANT SPELL SLAUGHTER WITH OUT LAUGHTER by I SET MY FRIENDS ON FIRE
R.BORLAX by HORSE THE BAND
all awsome screamo/metal bands with a healthy dose of awsomely ironic songs (horse the band made a whole song about the first boss in mega man). anyway just updateing, i may review afro samurai this week ( if gamefly comes through. god bless gamefly) and you should probably watch the anime its based on. the movie is pretty good too. so watch it and if i gets my GF this week i will review/butcher (if its bad) it. but from what iv heard its not to bad.
samuel L. jackson kicks ass. lakeview tarrace sucked though.
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