NEWER SH*T!!!!!!

fantestical (?) news everybloody! it turns out the video game industrie is not dead..... its just dumb as sh*t. now off that tangent, wow two updates and i've been happy reporting both of them. and im off my medication this week (damn you cleritan D). so first we have a movie game thats tollerable, and now we have a liscensed and original games that are actually fun!!!!

okay if you havent guessed it, i have been playing two hot new releases this week, and both shatterd my expectations like my virginity at clown collage.

maybe i should go back on my meds.

anyway the games im showering with praise are of coarse:

INFAMOUS

(it burns when i pee!!!)

and

UFC: UNDISPUTED 2009

(I LIKES TO PUNCH)

now i cant review these two in detail since i still suck at ufc and i have only played the demo of infamous. but im buying infamous sometime this week and then i will give my final opinion. but both are actaully good. so till then........ um.. here are some bands i like:

unearth

the dillinger escape plan

sublime

NOFX

rise against

flobots

the aquabats

bloodhound gang

the darkest of the hillside thickets

freezepop

TOOL

crooked x

dethklok

dope

powerglove

faith no more

dr. acula

horse the band

i set my friends on fire

job for a cowboy

iwrestledabearonce

the lonely island

psychostick

mars volta

nonpoint

mindless self indulgence

orange 9mm

scapegoat

butthole surfers

state radio

3

Queens of the stone age....

and thats all i can think of off the top of my head. bye now

NEW SH**!

my excamitory expression of fecal matter was called for because i have just launched a preview of the new website sho and i will be working on once i tell him. which is right now. the website will be hosting our podcast (if we can figure out how to record it) and and a comic series i have been working on that makes fun of xbox live. it will also feature mp3's of songs we like and reviews of games both good, bad and power glove (really bad). also including play throughs and rants of old games we hate. so check it out!!....... or dont. no ones holding a gun to your head. OH WAIT, i am. so look it up and dont turn around or i'll shoot.

the site is called tributetothearsonist.googlepages.com

~toodles!

OH SH**, I HAVE TO REVIEW SOMETHING.......... UUUMMMM!

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE THE GAME!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! side burns!

(in exactly 40 words)

its okay, its pretty short, its really bloody, and it reminds me of god of war also the next one is about gambit, my favorite x-person. also it has good boss battles, solid gameplay and pretty graphics. spongebob. kiwi. fargo.

i give it 8 bad puns out of 10

now good bye.

there's a reason penguins can't fly, hectopascals

When I first played the flash game Shopping Cart Hero, I was both zetta amazed that someone actually made a game called Shopping Cart Hero and made the gameplay relevant to the title, but also of the sheer genius of such simple gameplay. Sure, it wasn't a masterpiece of game design, but considering how little effort obviously went into it, it was good. Part of the charm of Shopping Cart Hero is that no sensible dev can play the game and not think, "I am so going to rip this game off!" Of course, out of respect I couldn't rip off rip off the game, just sort of copy it, and I eventually realized that this was impossible. But the people who brought you Hedgehog Launch or whatever it's called didn't realize this and decided to rip it off anyways, minus everything about shopping cart hero that made it so zetta good in the first place, you dumb hectopascals! You're going on the government's depopulation list right now!

I liked the trick system of Shopping Cart Hero. it was just so zetta fun I got addicted to it and kept killing all my groupies because I was trying to do triple spins ten feet about the ground and oh god oh god I love you trick system! But Learn to Fly said, "We're too good for a trick system! Instead, we'll have a tedious glider system that involves alternating between pressing left and right for extended periods of time! Yeah! Drugs make you look cooler! Yeah! Candy!" You can control when you use your rockets, a feature that Shopping Cart Hero would've benefitted from, but that's all it has over its master creator. The premise of a penguin learning to fly also isn't nearly as zetta entertaining as the concept of a shopping cart hero. In short, this game sucks, don't play it.

no cheesy pun for a title this time

But diagnosing borderline personality disorder in peoples younger than 18 isn't recommended, so I'll give you young tykes a chance to shine through. Oh wait, if you wanted teenage angst, you'd just play a jrpg, not read a blog. What was I thinking? So instead I'll just do a zetta belated review of a musical that makes Rent look bad (not that that's hard): Spring Awakening!

So, if you read my intro paragraph above and download the song "The Bitch of Living" off of the Spring Awakening soundtrack, you pretty much know what the play's about. Occurring a long time ago but remade for reasons unknown with modern music, Spring Awakening tells the tale of angsty teenagers who hate school and they're all liberals/atheists who like sex, but the headmasters (the villains) hate all the above things, and set out to establish fascist rule in the school.

Now, unless you're an unruly teenager or a parent who doesn't mind the idea of their kid smoking pot and having AIDS, getting pregnant at a young age and then killing themselves (which I am most certainly not), Spring Awakening is going to offend your moral code somewhere along the line. Rent didn't offend me once, but Spring Awakening practically glorifies irresponsibility. But you won't give a digit while actually watching the play cause the writing is factoring awesome! Half the audience was about to jump out of their seats the first time someone held a gun to his head, I kid you not.

Now, I had some issues with the actual production I saw. For once thing, all the adults were played by two actors, one female, the other male. It confused me for the first half of the play. Wait, these characters are related? But why do they have the same parent? Th acting itself seemed somewhat dispirited, especially during the songs. It was like they were all thinking, "Why the factor am I in a play that glorifies irresponsibility? WHY? WHY? WHY??????" But overall, Spring Awakening is worth seeing, especially if you want to think you did the right thing when you got syphilis. But just so you don't have any delusions, you didn't do the right thing, go factor yourself instead of other people.

British People's Death

Yay! I got my first ever comment! This blog is actually going somewhere! I just started it so I wouldn't lead a completely anonymous and completely useless life, but if I've already got a comment, who knows what'll happen next!

And the comment says...

"shut up bitch"

... ... ... ...

Well, that was disappointing.

Anyways, now that I've got a large enough fan base to receive one whole comment, I have the urge to rant about how factored the zetta fail that is society happens to be. So tell me: What is significant about the month of May? ...You don't know? Okay, how about the month of February? "Why, that's zetta easy, Sho! February is black history month!" Now, I could say that black history month is stupid because their's no asian history month or hispanic history month, but I'd rather focus on the other months that do exist, particularly in this now month of May.

But first, a quick question: Have you ever heard of a black person who committed suicide just cause he was black? No, because that would be stupid and silly. I highly doubt it has ever happened, and I doubt it ever will. But plenty of people have committed suicide because they have borderline personality disorder, yet none of you factoring hectopascals have a factoring clue that May is borderline personality disorder awareness month, and many of you probably have no idea what borderline personality disorder is. That's why I hate you, now shut up and go to hell.

For those of you who are still ignorant, borderline personality disorder is one of the most severe mental disorders out there, if the fact that some of the people afflicted with BPD kill themselves didn't tip you off. Unlike with being black, having BPD does not decrease your chance of getting skin cancer. What I'm trying to say is that having BPD is much more severe than being black, so down with black history month until we actually do something with this month of may that congress unanimously declared borderline personality disorder awareness month. Peanut butter was invented by a black person, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, blacks are equal to whites, and, since whites have a month all to themselves where they can whine about racism and self-fulfilling prophecies and irony (or just the first one), it's only fair that blacks get a month to themselves as well.

But, you see, BPD month is also more important than black history month because I was learning about black history in elementary school, but their are no required courses where you learn about borderline personality disorder at most schools. Furthermore, being black just means you look different, which is a good way to ensure that you don't make friends with idiots because only a completely brain-dead hectopascal would judge someone on the levels that racist people do. On the other hand, discriminating against someone because they have borderline personality disorder actually makes sense because it vastly alters your behavior. However, if someone had been properly educated about BPD, they would probably have moral qualms about ostracizing them for having BPD and realize that it would be better for everyone in the long run if they tried to help said BPD victim. But life doesn't work that way; things that make sense are bad. So keep on being ignorant till the end of May. Let the gods know: You are all amoral idiots.

Music as a Weapon, or just Jonny Santos

Well, now that Raam's told you about all the good RECORDED (in other words, CRAP!) you should waste your money on instead of going straight to a concert, I'm going to tell you radians what to spend your hard-earned money on. But wait! Seeing the second stage (the one with the better bands) at Disturbed's music as a weapon tour is completely FREE! If you missed it, hide it! Your friends will mercilessly ridicule you for your sacrilege! Hey Raam! Where were you at 5:40 yesterday? NOT singing along to Synthetic with Jonny Santos! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ZETTA FAILZ!

So now that I've divulged my opinion to you and told you what this blog post is about, I guess all that's left is those zetta juicy details that no one cares about. For those of you who fail so badly at life that I actually have to tell you, Jonny Santos is in this band, meaning that even if the music sucks, seeing Spineshank live is worth it because Sabtos has more charisma in himself than everyone at AIG who didn't refuse their bonuses (oh snap!). Which isn't saying much, but rest assured, Santos talking = crowd yayzing.

But, by some bizarre coincidence called the band being Spineshank, the music didn't suck. They weren't awesome, just great. So no Slipknot in quality, but Santos is much cooler than Corey Taylor, so it balances out. Except Tom Decker's drums were parallel with the ground the whole time, so Slipknot is better live. Spineshank does have a more energetic sound that seems like it would be better for live music, but it wasn't. Not that I expected them to be the best live, as a matter of fact, they about matched my expectations, something I'm too used to from live performances.

For some reason, they didn't play Smothered. You know, their grammy nominated song. They did play my favorite Spineshank song, The Height of Callousness, but not the grammy nominated one. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Sure, it's not my favorite Spineshank song, but I liked it. If you don't like a single and your fan base does, do what Slipknot does and play Dead Memories live. But I blame Disturbed, for only giving a band they are worse than a half hour time slot.

I also heard some songs from a band called Bury Your Dead. I give them an above average out of... Rise Against. I mighr check out some of their albums later, after I review Beautiful Tragedy and Toxicity or something.

inverse the reverse (the good, the bad and the annoying)

what ev, any whoo im back from a 3 day killzone 2 bender on the gaystation 3, playsucktion 3 or comenly known as THE GRILL. but in my spare time iv been listening to a lot of music. mostly crap such as count your blessings, freshmen 15 and some norwedgian alto group. but there was one group that made me almost as sick as that time i filled in as lindsayy lohans parole officer (godamn i am makeing to many lindsay lohan jokes...... who cares). speaking of not caring heres my review of the band and album..... first peral harbor now this..........

let me start by saying alternative music is good if you have the right mix. punk and rap, jazz and rock, regge and punk, but not F-ING JPOP AND SCREAMO. if you told a record producer you envisioned a genre of japanese techno and screaming teenagers you would get A. laughed at right to hell and B. you would get the musical flop ( i use that term lightly) FACT. they first started off touring with, acually one of my favorite screamo groups and coolest band name ever IWRESLEDABEARONCE ( i will discus them later) and have grown in popularity since. this being there first album i will forgive them of a couple things. first, the lackluster songs and boring song titles. i almost fell asleep twice wile listening to the song 45 days. second, the songs are just..... i dont know... dull. with repeating instrument parts over and over again i thought my ipod was broken and just replayed the same song over and over. i will say this though, for a band formed in japan played in the u.s i hold a small shred of hope that they will get better. but that shred vanishes after listening to there song stretch my arms. ugh

so i give there first album 3 sad facts (sorry) out of 10

p.s. the album cover sucks to.

and now for something completely different a man with 6 testicles........ oh wait thats something else... now heres a good, no, GREAT BAND AND THERE AWSOME NEW CD!!!!!!!!!!!. NOW HERE THE REVIEW OF MY 4th FAVORITE BAND OF ALL TIME HERES.......IT ONLY CAME OUT 3 DAYS AGO AND ITS THE MOST LISTENED TO ALBUM ON MY IPOD.

imagin if rise against had a sense of twisted humor and you would have the political force that is NOFX (its another play on words like no-effects). know for having the best album names evar such as, the war on errorism and punk in drublic this band of misfits plays some of the best punk anthems this side of california (were the band is from) and continues to still be awsome skate music to this day. ther latest album COASTER is already on itunes top 10 alternative albums and its one of my favorite to come out all year (this and mastodons CRACK THE SKYY). in most cases, i buy a cd and only 70% of the songs are good. this album however has no filler songs and every one sounds like a true original (including one song were the singer , mike burkett, has an interesting conversation with a canadian lesbian at a german concert). iv listened to every song on this album at least twenry times and its still enjoyable, my favorites were THE QUITTER (a song about alcoholics anonymous), WE CALLED IT AMERICA, SUITS AND LADDERS and BEST GOD IN SHOW. but my favorite part of this album, the bass. its not just the same note over and over again it actually sounds like an instrument played by a talented person. so kudos to the one of the greatest punk bands ever to make me consider becoming a vegaterian (consider). so to anyone who has had, seen or admired a mohawk this is a must buy and my favorite album to come out this year so far and a must listen.

i give it 10 seperations of church and skate out of 10

thats all for now, and please check out COASTER by NOFX (they are paying me in radishes to advertise but this is still one sweet album).

have you listened to it yet..................no...................well you have 15 seconds to get to youtube and listen to them or i will mentally kill your family from my bathroom (were i update). so long. for now.

"still bratty after all these years"-

-itunes bio

-Note from the editor (Sho) I read this post and said, "God, this grammar/spelling is so zetta atrocious it's not worth fixing for a job I don't get paid to do!" If this grammar/spelling offended you, please direct your cursor to the paypal button and send me about $500 (enough to buy Braid), and I will probably (not) fix the grammar in this post.

Fun costs too little these days

I can't believe I actually wasted $15 on this game! I mean, come on! I payed $60 for Resistance 2 and it wasn't as good as this game! Seriously! How could they even think about charging $15 for this game!

For those of you who are a slow as Raam, I am indeed referring to Braid, an under priced game if you think outside of the box instead of going, "LOL! I'm a noob who thinks all games should cost $10! LOL! ROFLCOPTER!" Now seriously, this game is more than worth the $15, why the factor are you complaining about the cost? If Halo 3 cost $60, you wouldn't complain, and Braid is so much zetta better than Halo 3. Regardless, even if you actually like Halo 3, you should be able to get at least a fourth as much fun out of Braid as you did from Halo 3, so mathematically speaking Braid is worth it! Shut the factor up! You are incapable of higher brain functions!

Braid is a puzzle game that centers around time manipulation, which may make you goes, "How zetta original!" in a sarcastic tone of voice, but Jonathan Blow adds in some neat stuff. More often than not, the solutions to the puzzles are actually very zetta cool, making me envious of Jonathan's developing powers. Gimme!

The game is surprisingly non-linear, allowing you to complete the puzzles (with the exception of the last level) in pretty much any order you want. You can beat a level and unlock more levels basically by walking through the level, but to unlock the final level you need to collect all the puzzle pieces found throughout the levels. The final level level itself was actually disappointing in terms of the difficulty of the puzzles, but the point was that it was the first level backwards or whatever, but I still would've liked a harder challenge for the last segment of the game.

What I didn't like was that the game doesn't do a good job of introducing the new time-manipulating elements. You get a cool power, learn how to use it, BAMF! Only zetta difficult puzzles for the rest of the level. Slowly increasing the difficulty wouldn't have been such a bad idea for such a non-linear game.

This may seem like a nitpicky complaint, but your protagonist TIM the TIMe manipulator walks so zetta slow for my tastes. This is especially noticeable in world six, where slowing down time plays a key role in solving the puzzles.

As for the storyline, well, the ending sequence was pretty zetta cool, but the rest seems like garbage. Raam tells me that's because the storybooks you read to find out the story are placed out of order. Just to be annoying, I suppose. Bad Jonathan! A lot of it probably wouldn't make sense anyways. If you like puzzles and ending sequences, buy Braid. And, uh, yeah, that's about it.