there's a reason penguins can't fly, hectopascals

When I first played the flash game Shopping Cart Hero, I was both zetta amazed that someone actually made a game called Shopping Cart Hero and made the gameplay relevant to the title, but also of the sheer genius of such simple gameplay. Sure, it wasn't a masterpiece of game design, but considering how little effort obviously went into it, it was good. Part of the charm of Shopping Cart Hero is that no sensible dev can play the game and not think, "I am so going to rip this game off!" Of course, out of respect I couldn't rip off rip off the game, just sort of copy it, and I eventually realized that this was impossible. But the people who brought you Hedgehog Launch or whatever it's called didn't realize this and decided to rip it off anyways, minus everything about shopping cart hero that made it so zetta good in the first place, you dumb hectopascals! You're going on the government's depopulation list right now!

I liked the trick system of Shopping Cart Hero. it was just so zetta fun I got addicted to it and kept killing all my groupies because I was trying to do triple spins ten feet about the ground and oh god oh god I love you trick system! But Learn to Fly said, "We're too good for a trick system! Instead, we'll have a tedious glider system that involves alternating between pressing left and right for extended periods of time! Yeah! Drugs make you look cooler! Yeah! Candy!" You can control when you use your rockets, a feature that Shopping Cart Hero would've benefitted from, but that's all it has over its master creator. The premise of a penguin learning to fly also isn't nearly as zetta entertaining as the concept of a shopping cart hero. In short, this game sucks, don't play it.