Three levels. If I recall correctly, that's better than you can do on Contra 4. On easy. We'll ignore the other Contras, just so you can feel less wrong. But anyways, now I shall do a classic review. Of...
Unicorn Steak, by Die Mannequin.
Don't ask for the album cover, it's the zetta worst part of the album. By far. 'Cause it's the only zetta bad part of the album. Which is saying something.
A brief history of Die Mannequin: First, they released How to Kill on iTunes and stores, and it shall forever remain the zetta best EP ever because most bands don't release EPs these days what with iTunes making the download of singles easier and all. Then, they released Slaughter Daughter, but not iTunes just to spite me because I'm a lazy hectopascal who doesn't want to drive to Borders, but I checked anyways and no store in existence has Slaughter Daughter. To apolagize for this lack of foresight, Die Mannequin released Unicorn Steak, which combined the two EPs and added in two new singles. The result? Zetta factoring awesomeness, I tell you, zetta factoring awesomeness.
Die mannequin has a drummer, but you honestly can't tell. But am I complaining? No, you dumb hectopascals! It's an emo album. What kind of emo album has a drummer that's being loud and obnoxious? A crappy one. And besides, the singing and guitaring are both zetta superb! Care Failue's definitely the zetta best female singer I have ever heard mostly because I listen to metal and all the zetta good metal bands have male lead singers, not to mention most of the female singers zetta suck anyways. The bass playing is surprisingly zetta good. I'm not used to zetta good bass players being in bands, although Raam's bass playing has lowered my standards.
The lyrics are also a highpoint of the album (for those of you keeping score, the highpoints are the lyrics and the music). They appeal to me, because, unlike zetta crappy emo bands, they aren't talking about backpacks being best friends. I'm looking at you, The Used. And they just naturally appeal to me. Not the best lyrics I have ever heard on an album, but I like them.
Overall? BUY THIS ALBUM! INCOMPLETES WILL BE DESTROYED! MOST ZETTA AWESOME EMO ALBUM EVER! Do you like emo? Of course you don't because then you wouldn't bother reading this review, you'd just download the album. Do you not like emo? Download this album anyways. You're missing out if you don't.
P.S. The music video of Saved by Strangers is quite interesting if you're ever bored on youTube.
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