James Cameron: The Last Suckbender

Every time I type a title like that, I die a little on the inside. But it's worth it because you die more. Ha ha! So here I go, Avatar bashing time!

Now, I don't have anything against James Cameron. He made Terminator 2, how could I hate him? But he needs to understand that if you're going to spend ten factoring years on one factoring movie, you cannot make it anything less than great. James Cameron seems to think that absolute value is an accurate way to measure suck greatness, because this movie has a lot of shortcomings.

As you've no doubt heard, the movie's plot is really zetta awful! If you can't figure out how it goes within the first half hour, then you're a factoring retard! Cliched is the most accurate way to describe the plot because that is all it is. One cliche after another. The only point of ambiguity I had was whether the movie was about U.S. foreign policy or the environment. Rocks that represent oil, military guy who says preemptive strikes are the only way to stop the terrorists, check, check. But, not only would that mean the movie encourages terrorism, since the "U.S." loses, but James began his work on this movie ten factoring years ago. It could just be a bizarre coincidence, but too much of a coincidence for me.

Then there was the special effects. People said they were awesome. I disagree. Mostly, the color palette annoyed me because you could tell it was special effects. "Special" as in how I would describe anyone that likes Avatar. And your mother. Sure, the robots were done well, but it's nothing you can't see in Transformers 2. I almost feel like saying that movie has a better plot line.

The actual directing and the action sequences were fine, which does not at all make up for the suck in the rest of the movie. Avatar needs to die so people will only remember James Cameron for Terminator 2.