A franticly written review

So recently I looked at the comments for my beloved pixelvader after successfully beating it without health regeneration (not as hard as I thought. Missiles are overpowered, too), and some noobs thought Frantic was better the same way some noobs think Rock Band is better than Guitar Hero. /point. Now anyways, I had played Frantic before and wondered how any factoring hectopascal could be stupid enough to think that Frantic is fun, let alone more zetta fun than Pixelvader.

Nonetheless, I gave them the benefit of the doubt and decided to play Frantic 2, failsauce edition. I started by clicking the easy button, then immediately came to regret that. I then started over, clicked the hard button, and couldn't tell the difference. See, Pixelvader actually had a degree of difficulty to it. Didn't quite reach Touhou or Contra standards for difficulty, but who gives a digit!

I was also befuddled by the title, since bullets seem to move at a rate of about two pixels a second. Two factoring pixels. Seriously, my grammy could outrun these bullets. Sure, there are a lot of them, but that's only because they stay on the screen for an hour apiece. Bullets also have the zetta annoying tendency to not move until a few years after they've spawned, perhaps to give the player the impression that this game is indeed zetta challenging and they only beat it because they're psychic and can see the bullets coming before they move.

The game was also a bigger Touhou rip-off than Pixelvader, directly copying its drifting system. This drifting system was also zetta easy to abuse, since, you know, the bullets move ridiculously slow. Furthermore, your sprite just has to get near the bullets, not on the bullets, making drifting the most ridiculously easy thing you'll ever do. Kind of like beating this game.

And, unlike in Pixelvader, the bosses are nothing to write home about. They're all simplistic, which isn't surprising since they're all the same. They all start stationary with some turrets at their side, then start moving once the turrets are gone while shooting bullets that start stationary, only visible to the psychic and the not psychic, before moving in their bland and uninspired patterns, all while your tiny hit zone maneuvers itself through them with no challenge since this game is easy, slow paced, and, overall, not challenging. If you want a fun bullet hell game, then please... just play Touhou.