stuff about death

Yo, yall, its not Sho speakin' here, its me, Beat, yo! Sho walked up to me an' he says, "Hey there, I've got a date with my girlfriend and need someone to take over my blog for me. Could you do that? Zetta thanks!" And I'm all like, "I ain't got time for stuff like that, yo!", but he jus' up an' walks off without even listening, yo! So I got ta thinking about how if I were still a reaper, I could totally pwn his ass, yo! But, since I'm not a reaper, I settled for the next best thing, yo! I played some games over on kongregate.com where you play as tha greatest reaper ever, yo! Death!

Tha first game I played was a game called death vs monstars, yo! You control death widda mouse, an' he shoots in tha direction opposite of the direction you las' moved tha mouse in. It's really inconvenient, yo! Never do it again, aight? Ya can hold down the left button to keep aimin' in tha same direction, which yall'll do more often than not, yo!

You also get this innovative bullet time thingy, yo! I ain't seen anything like that in Halo, yo! Totally revolutionary, yo! Now, it sounds cool an' all, but it just aint very useful. Aiming's still very inconvenient in bullet time, and, 'cause the game insists that you move around bullet walls instead a through them, death's innability ta move faster in bullet time makes it useless for dodgin', yo!

An' then there's the difficulty curve. The devs jus' got a die, and they all like, "Let's roll this to see how hard the next level'l be!" And, since tha game's more about aim than actual dodgin', which is inconveneient, yo, a lot a tha harder levels are quite frustratin', yo! The final boss gets in a lot of cheap shots, ya gotta be psychic and dodge his attacks before he uses 'em, yo!

They alos got an upgrade system, an' it's frustrating 'CAUSE HALF OF 'EM DON'T WORK! Getting money's hard, yo, ya gotta rush headfirst into the enemy stronghold. Ya also get really generic weapon upgrades; ya basically jus' shoot more, tha's all.

But I played a better game where you control death an' all: Bloody Fun Day! 'Tis a puzzle solver/strategy title, where death has ta harvest souls ta survive an' all., yo! It actually requires a lot o' strategy, even if it looks just like a cliched puzzle-solver. Ya also get powers for harvestin' certain colored groups, and ya gotta be sparing wid those, use 'em when ya low on health, yo! It's pretty fun, but it wears out it's welcome a bit quick, but hey- it's free!

So yeah, hopefully Sho's girlfriend will have broken up wid him tomorrow, so I won't have to do this again, yo! This reveiwing stuff aint for me, man! I'ma goin' back to skateboarding. Get smarter soon, Sho's girlfriend!